PET Tomorrow

Well, tomorrow is the big day. I wish it was big for something really fun and exciting but no! Tomorrow is the day of my PET scan. I really hate this scan! It stinks! I guess the only good thing about it is I will have a little bit of time tomorrow to myself. You aren't supposed to be around babies for a little while after....I was told 6 hours! not sure if that's right, I will ask in the morning. Because of this I am going to try and do something fun while I wait for the radioactive dye to, well, die! ;) Maybe I will go to a movie or finish up my Christmas shopping. As I have to fast for 6 hours prior, the first thing I will do is eat!

I will just share that while I do not think I am sick again!....just wanted to clear that up first....I feel fine....nothing strange going on....all's good.... Even with all of that I still get a little (gross understatement!) freaked out prior to any scan. I always do.

If you aren't aware of my history, I am a cancer survivor. I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma in September 2003. Actually, it all started in August of that year. It took almost a month from my first scan to my 'official' diagnosis. That was a really, REALLY, long month!

My first dr. was a complete and utter jerk! When I went in for my scan results...I was totally not expecting anything out of the ordinary...he just flat out said 'you have cancer'. Then he said ' you either have lymphoma or thyroid cancer and I think you have thyroid cancer'. Specifically he thought I had the type of thyroid that you don't survive! What a jerk!

That's sort of putting it nicely, don't ya think?

There I was in his office with Evan and Carter. They were 1 and 3 at the time, and I was not prepared to hear this. The next month was spent finding a new dr., getting test after test, biopsies...the bone marrow wasn't as bad as I expected, by the way...and worrying.

Finally, I was 'officially' diagnosed and one week later I started chemo. About 5 months later that was finished. I had one month off and then it was on to radiation. Really hated the mask they made to bolt my head to the table by the way! You know, it took longer to set everything up for radiation than it took to actually get radiated.

Cancer really does suck.

I'm so sorry if the language offends but there is really no other way to say it. Every scan I have had since starting chemo has been cancer free! From all of the research I've done, that it a really good indication that you will remain cancer free. In fact you have a 98% chance of never relapsing when your first (early) scan is clear. Mine was clear after my first round of chemo. In all honesty, I could tell a difference in the way I felt after the first treatment. Well, the second week after treatment!

With Hodgkin's you have chemo one day of one week and then you are 'off' the next week. I had treatment every other Tuesday. I felt terrible from 'D' day until the Friday after. By Saturday I would start to feel better and by Monday I felt great. I never knew I was sick until the Monday following my first treatment....and that's only because I felt so great then! It was amazing.

So now I am off to get my scan. It stinks because it reminds me of all of the old stuff. The smells, the tastes...all of the old worries. I really hate going there. I really hate thinking about all of that 'stuff'.

Ok...so I guess that's it for my depressing rant! Or not, depending on how you look at it. I've been cancer free for 4 years now! That's really exciting! It really stinks how your mind can mess with you. I'm hoping I will get a good nights sleep tonight. I'm hoping that I won't freak out from now until my next dr's appointment in January....that's when I get the results.

I am going to do a bit of stamping after I tuck the boys in...then I am going to veg in front of the TV...then I am hopeful I will get some sleep!

If I come up with anything fabulous I will post it. If not, maybe I will have something tomorrow night. Anyway, thanks for listening. I hope I didn't freak anyone out.

I hope you are all doing well and I will post you soon!