Five Years Ago Today....

My life changed forever. Five years ago today I was told I had can
cer.

Talk about a thread killer! Ooo...poor choice of words there! Sorry. I know it always seems like such a 'downer' to talk about this but it really is all good.

Ok...maybe it didn't start that way...of course it didn't! ....

...There I was with my then 3 and 17 month old boys, sitting in the doctors office not expecting anything out of the norm when he tells me I have cancer. The world stopped moving for me at that moment....and I wished I could stop time. I was so afraid that I wouldn't be there to see those boys grow up. I was afraid that I would miss all of the firsts...first day of preschool, kindergarten.... Who would kiss their owies. I was numb.

Five years ago today.

One month of diagnosis....biopsies, scans, more biopsies.... Six months of chemo.... One month of radiation....that's what my tatoos are from, AJ... ;) I didn't elaborate because I guessed it would end up being a thread killer! ;) (there goes that word again!) They mark you to line up the machine that releases the radiation.

....it's not a thread killer though....

Five years later....

Two first days of preschool, two preschool graduations... Two first days of kindergarten, two kindergarten graduations.... Another baby! Never thought that was possible...chemo induced menopause...didn't realize I would come out of that.... So many firsts....sports, having the chance to teach my son to ride a bike!

My life isn't all roses, but I can certainly appreciate that there are so many areas that are better than I could have ever imagined.

One of the great things to come out of my diagnosis...I now take time for myself. This is something I never did before. Once the boys went to sleep there was always more things to do...cleaning...laundry... My friend and neighbor, Amy, introduced me to stamping. This is the perfect 'Me' time.

I am so very thankful for all of the lessons I have learned along the way. Don't get me wrong, if I were given the chance I would never have chosen this path...NEVER! Chemo sucks! ...sorry....there really is no good way to put it! They don't have a whole line of clothing with that sentiment for nothing! I still remember the poor nurse whose shoes were completely ruined when I ...ok....we will just leave that one alone....she is one of those sweet angels that really is here on a mission!

Ok...there you go! Don't be down! This is a good day...all in all....five years later...still cancer free...I am looking forward to at least another five!

Ok...have I completely bummed you all out?! I totally didn't mean to. This is a good day! One of the things that I remember from this day five years ago...that I didn't think I would be here. I truly thought that I wouldn't last six months! I had never known anyone to survive cancer. How amazing that here I am five years later!

See...it's all good! Yeah, I'm a completely different person...but I think it's for the best...I think the changes are all good. All right! Thanks for letting me vent! Today was a day of lots of hugs in my house. I am truly so very thankful for all that I have. You know, my boys are completely oblivious to this type of thing. They remember when mommy didn't have hair....but that's really it. They really don't remember all of the other stuff. I'm glad. Yeah, there was some fighting today. You know how brother's get on each others nerves! But all in all...this was the most amazing day ever!

...because five years ago...I didn't think it would happen!